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East of Broken Bow | Sounds like she doesn't have the normal feelings/relations/emotions that most people have.
If I had to guess, I'd say probably related to past abuse/neglect. When this happens, development seems to stop, and mentally/emotionally they will be at a lower stage of development than they are physically, which explains why you have to parent like she is much younger than she actually is.
Now, on top of that, she acts like someone we've dealt with in the neighborhood as far as being charming to some, knowing all the right things to say to the right people, yet being manipulative to those close to her. I will add my free insight (and worth what you paid for it). She is manipulative to EVERYONE, it is just those close to her that really see it. The whole being charming thing, and saying the right things to anyone looking into her 'problems' is manipulation in that she is displaying the behavior that gets her what she wants. As I get older, I believe that in some cases, it is a kind of survival instinct, meaning if she was abused, she learned the hard way to say or do the things that stopped the abuse. In other cases, it is a personality disorder, where other people are like objects to be used in order to get what they want. What to do about it I really don't know, but in dealing with someone like the latter, I do know you need to find a therapist/counselor who knows how to deal with narcissism or similar behaviors, the counselor needs to be able to see through the fake charm to get to the root of the problem.
I also think that finding the certain type of people to hang around with might have as much to do with their ability to talk them into things (example, if she wants a cigarette, she will find the people that look like smokers and try to charm one out of them).
Any way you slice it, you have a full plate, and prayers go out to you on that. It sounds like someone messed her up, and fixing those kind of things is a real challenge. Good luck. | |
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Adopted teen help needed. what to do and where to go.
